Planning and Crossroads

April 4, 2009 § Leave a comment

I always expected that this ultimate rewriting of my life would stir up some potluck of emotions, but I continued to take my smooth arrival for granted. Despite the fact that I am only 21, I feel as though my life is rushing by me, as though my time has come and gone. It’s quite an odd anxiety I dance with.  I’m finally approaching that moment where you have to choose a path in your life and stick with it. Then I find myself cringing in fear at the idea of picking a direction that would only result in regret and longing for the lost years. I can’t stay here forever, suspended in this crossroads decision, but the horror of making a choice is too powerful to move me. When I moved to Los Angeles I had no real grasp of how to exist in the real world. I felt almost as I do now, but I figured out how to survive and prospered greatly from my knowledge. Then I haphazardly decide to subject myself to the arduous process all over again, yet this time in a different country with entirely different language, customs and standards. At the time, the thought of moving was a psychological saving grace, but in this moment, I struggle to unearth a conceivable strand of logic from the decision. Obviously time goes on and these feelings will one day morph into pride and accomplishment, but as I sit here now, alone in my thoughts, the light of that hope is hard to detect.

Following days of blindly searching the internet and struggling through awkward phone calls, I have formed a sort of plan for the upcoming months. Now that Christian has his new computer, we are able to communicate through Skype. As we sit at our computers we have our call boxes open so we can see each other, essentially hanging out online. This facilitates easy plan making as we can throw out random ideas and thoughts we have as they come to us. Christian is done with school May 9th, which means that we must find an apartment, as well as jobs, within the next month. In a country where we don’t speak the language or have working knowledge of rental and employment systems. We have been successful, however, when it comes to the direction we need to head in for school. The Universities in Norway have a plethora of master’s programs taught in English, but up until that point all degrees are in Norwegian. Christian has yet to complete his Bachelor’s degree and I am a couple courses short of what is required for the master’s program. Rather than enrolling immediately in academic courses, we will spend the next year working full-time, hopefully, and taking Norwegian classes. Now all we need is a place to live and jobs that accept employees who speak English.

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